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Why No One
Want Make Hulk 2?
July 14, 2004 -
Source
X2 come out last
year. Spider-Man 2 come out last month. Both great sequels to great
movies about Hulk friends. Hulk love great action movies about friends!
People buy tickets. Make money for theaters, make money for movie
company. Movie company make more movies with money. Already, they
working on X-Men 3. Hulk movie come out last year. It success. It big
popcorn movie with heart. So why no one want make Hulk 2? It make Hulk
mad!
Hulk know what people say. Original movie no good, people say. Hulk
movie Hulk-sized bomb, people say. That not true! Hulk more successful
than people think. Make $132 million in U.S. alone, only cost $120
million. That not small potatoes. Add international box-office receipts
and DVD sales and it add up to big money. Big! Oh, and did Hulk forget
merchandising tie-ins? First Hulk movie really forge Hulk brand
identity. Make people aware of Hulk. Hulk now poised to build on success
of first Hulk movie. Hulk 2 smash box-office records!
First Hulk movie flawed but underrated. Oscar-winner Jennifer Connelly
give sublime performance as Hulk romantic interest Betty Ross. She
pretty. Australian hunk Eric Bana good in breakthrough American role as
puny human Bruce Banner. Film even give tip of hat to TV Hulk and Stan
"The Man" Lee. Sure, conflict with father stray from original story, but
it provide new twist on classic legend. Necessary to increase dramatic
tension. Make Hulk seem more human so audience can identify with puny
human Banner.
Why no one appreciate daring vision of Ang Lee? Aaargh! Ang Lee genius!
Maybe panels on screen gimmicky, but him try something new. When last
time you try something new?! Ang Lee willing to work in unfamiliar
genres. Him brave like Hulk. Hulk wish for him to work on Hulk 2, if he
willing, but Hulk understand if he not want to. Ang Lee like Hulk: He
not stay in one place for too long. Him working on gay western right
now. That prove Hulk's point. If him not do it, maybe Darren Aronofsky
or David Gordon Green. Someone with unique vision that not so stuck on
action clichés. First studio exec to suggest Joel Schumacher get
smashed!
Hulk 2 give chance to increase merchandising profile, as well. Hulk have
ideas for new Hulk products. Hulk Foam Hands surprise hit in toy stores.
Hulk Foam Hands big and soft and make Hulk smashing noises when you hit
things. If Hulk Hands big hit, Hulk Feet even bigger hit! Make smashing
and stomping noises. Imagine puny human child walking around with Hulk
Feet! Make big noise like Hulk. Imagine... ho, ho, ho... excuse Hulk,
Hulk laughing. That funny! But Hulk not just limit branding to toys.
Make Hulk Shampoo and Hulk Shampoo For Kids, in special no-tears
formula. It sound like bad idea, but it good idea! You squirt it right
in eye, and it not make you mad! Hulk very concerned with hygiene and
comfort. Know how hard it is to make puny human child take bath. Hulk
Shampoo make bath-time fun!
Many unanswered questions from last Hulk movie. What happen to puny
human Banner in rainforest? Is there cure for Hulk? Will General
Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross leave Hulk alone? Is there future with
Betty Ross? Where villains that make comic so great, like Abomination,
Wendigo, and Leader? Hulk hate Leader and Leader's big head. What happen
to Grey Hulk? And where Hulk's friend Rick Jones? He only one that
understand Hulk. Rick? Rick!? Raaaaahhhh! Sometimes Hulk so sad and
alone.
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